Lesson 1: Think twice before pressing SEND.
News flash: THE INTERNET IS PUBLIC! What you post can not only be seen by others, it can also be traced. You may think something is anonymous, but it’s not. Future employers, colleagues, friends and even your parents can find anything if they really want to. In saying that, do not bash someone, admit to fake calling in sick for work, rant about how drunk you were or the long list of other examples I could give. Not only is it tacky, but it can get you in A LOT of trouble. Even for the most innocent of “status updates,” it’s just WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION.
Therefore, be selective. You do not have to post anything and everything. If you are communicating from the rest room (which for as much as some people feel the need to update their Facebook or Twitter statuses, they must be), you need help. Bottom line: I WILL de-friend you if you start clogging up my mini-feed! This applies to pictures too… some things are better left in an album and not posted online. I know employers who will print off the first five photos on your profile (yes, even if your account is private) and ask you to explain yourself when you come in for an interview… how do you bounce back from that?!? To be honest, I don’t think you can.
Lesson 2: If I can’t read what you write, how am I supposed to know what you are saying?
You would think that since handwriting isn’t an issue on the Internet, communication would be easier…. Negative, ghost rider. “Ur,” “JK,” “LOL,” “LMAO,” “TTYL,” “IDK my BFF Rose” and all the other funny abbreviations we’ve come up with over the years take longer to decipher than the real words take to spell out. While I know they are often useful when communicating in a hurry, there is a time and place – consider your audience. If it isn’t a close friend, don’t throw grammar out the door – there’s a reason why we had to learn to diagram a sentence (or how to use spell check)… or so, I think.
Furthermore, drum roll, please… Need I even say, EMOTICON?!?! Are you happy? No, you are sad :(. And not sad like unhappy – sad like get a life if you ever use these beyond casual conversations or texts. Again, audience is key. However, as I sit here typing and that creepy little sad face looks back at me, I may have to rethink using them in any conversation, or at least using them more sparingly, and so should you.
Lesson 3: How does that make you feel?
Have you ever signed on Facebook and someone has left a sob story of a status about how their dog died, they crashed their pickup truck and their girlfriend left them? No, this is not another bad country song (lyrics for your statuses should also be kept to a minimum, please), this is Lesson number 3.
Who is this anonymous person you are pouring your heart out to? Oh wait, it’s the millions of people who can see your post, and I hate to break it to you... they don’t care. And, if they respond, it’s not because they feel bad for you but because you put them in an awkward situation -- congrats. The only thing that may be worse is those people who post condolences on other people’s walls. What happened to the days of picking up a phone, sending flowers or… wait for it… personal contact? Your wall post does nothing, but a true friend in a time of need means everything. I find the lack of personal interaction amazing, especially in these situations. So, please, stop using the Internet as your therapy session.
Lesson 4: A thief is a thief is a thief.
Just because it is online does not mean it is free. So, if you feel the need to steal these words or the designs surrounding this page, you can send me a check in the mail (just for the words… please make design checks payable to Front Porch Studio), because like a joke… it becomes less funny the more you hear it, and you’re probably going to miss the punch line anyway! Not to mention, people like to receive credit for the work they do, and lawyers aren’t particularly humorous people… hmmm.
Lesson 5: Why are you yelling at me?
Have you ever been chatting with someone or in the midst of an email conversation and all of a sudden you’re under attack? That’s because tone is lost on the Internet. Even the most casual of conversations can be taken the wrong way when communicated online. Try to avoid using the Internet for serious conversations, and above all DO NOT WRITE IN ALL CAPS! Not only is this hard to read, but you are technically yelling at someone every time you do it, and that’s just not cool.
Lesson 6: Why would I want to hire hottie1234?
So, I know when we were in middle school we created these screen names and email addresses that we thought were so cool. We all knew the girl that used surfer___ or the boy that called himself stud____ (needless to say she’s never seen the ocean let alone a surf board, and he’s nothing to look at), but it’s time to delete these accounts. Not only are they unprofessional, but how is someone supposed to know you are contacting them if you don’t identify yourself.
It’s also much easier to remember an email address in a hurry if it includes that person’s name .Try using your first and last name or your first initial and last name. This is especially important for those of us looking for jobs (aren’t we all). If you come in with a resume that says xxxhottie1234xxx, I can guarantee you aren’t getting hired.
Sass & Class (or SC as we so affectionately call her) is the mistress of manners here at The Love List. She'll be tackling subjects relevant to a new generation of southern women ...since we all know our table manners anyway. SC is a proper politico who minds her P's and Q's when she's rubbing elbows with senators and statesmen at her day job, but also knows when to take off the tiara and have a little fun. Send her your questions - SC@thelovelist.net. You might see it answered on The Love List! 
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