Introducing...

Fall brings the changing of leaves, pumpkin flavored coffee at Starbucks, scarves and boots, and above all, my favorite American pastime – FOOTBALL. So, as the tailgates come to a close, and a bit of normalcy to our Saturdays return as the weekend warrior in all of us begins to fade, I’d like to leave this season (a winning one, I might add) with a few bits of advice that I’ve picked up along the way. Some may seem obvious, but you would be surprised how many times even the most common sense ideas are forgotten when the pig skin flies…

1) Tailgating is part of the experience.
Everyone knows the football game starts approximately four to five hours before kickoff, but that doesn’t mean you need to be doing beer bongs, keg stands, shotguns, power chugs or downing shots in the first hour. Actually, none of these practices are EVER truly acceptable, but the key at football games is moderation. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen girls give their tickets to a game away because they’ve gotten too drunk to stand up, let alone walk to the game or cheer for their team. In fact, I know boys (I won’t call them men in these instances), who purposely try to get their female counterparts drunk for a free ticket to the game. It’s science – it’s hot, booze dehydrates, your body can only handle so much and the combination can be “no bueno,” if you’re not smart!

2) An arsenal will save you in any situation.
Being outside for four-plus hours and the occasional (who, am I kidding… INEVITABLE) celebration after the game are sure to cause some problems in the hair and makeup departments. Why not put that Vera Bradley or Longchamp backpack to use? Carry mini versions of your favorite lip gloss, hairspray, bronzer, eyeliner and blush or whatever else you may need, for a quick pick-me-up throughout the day. Just be discrete, and PLEASE do not “reapply” in the stands. After all, this is what the ladies room is for…

3) Your free tee is just that – a free tee.
If there is one thing I loathe almost as much as spiders, snakes or feet – it’s the “free tee.” However, it’s not the t-shirt itself but the approximate 1,953,286 variations one can see of this ugly t-shirt on any given game day. Congratulations, you bought a season ticket and they gave you a t-shirt, but girls, a pair of scissors does not make you a designer. Leave the free tee where it came from – in the box. Opt for a cute sun dress instead. Game days are one of the best times to not only show your team spirit but also meet people from other states, cities, parts of the country, etc. You want and need to make a good impression. You never know who you might meet. In saying that, dress appropriately. You should be comfortable and classy, and not exposing too much of your team colors, if you know what I mean!

4) You aren’t the star of the game.
Everyone loves to document the game, and snapping a couple shots before or during half time and timeouts is perfectly acceptable, but when the boys are on the field, you shouldn’t be in front of the camera. It’s extremely annoying for anyone who is trying to concentrate to be asked every five minutes to snap the same shot of a random stranger, or even friend for that matter. So adjust your focus to the players, if you’ve got a good zoom, you never know what you might catch on that close-up!

AND, LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST…

5) It’s a football game.
Obviously, yes, but it’s funny how some people pay for a ticket and don’t know anything about the sport. It’s okay, and even encouraged, to know a little about the game and will keep you from bringing up inappropriate game-time topics like what happened on the last episode of Gossip Girl or the latest sale at Victoria’s Secret. You don’t have to know every name of every player or even every team in your Conference, but knowing how many points a team gets for a touchdown (6) or a field goal (3) and some of the more common penalties will not only help you enjoy the next four hours, but will also make it more enjoyable for those who have to sit around you.

Sass & Class (or SC as we so affectionately call her) is the new mistress of manners here at The Love List. She'll be tackling subjects relevant to a new generation of southern women ...since we all know our table manners anyway. SC is a proper politico who minds her P's and Q's when she's rubbing elbows with senators and statesmen at her day job, but also knows when to take off the tiara and have a little fun. Send her your questions - SC@thelovelist.net. You might see it answered on The Love List!